Living Another’s Dream …

“What Is Success For You — Personally?”

I know. It sounds simple.

The question is Not how someone else has defined Success for you.

It’s how do you define Success for you?

Have you spent much time thinking about this?

Will you know when you’ve achieved Success in your life?

When you hear the word “Success” what do you think of? What comes to mind? What image or pictures are formed in your mind?

I looked through several dictionaries for their definition of Success. What I found was a common theme that revolved around success being:

“The achieving of goals, wealth, honor, position or something with a similar tone. Success they seemed to all agree is related to things and status and accomplishments.”

But what if Success could also be defined as:

“Achieving a desired objective of Becoming”

This opens up new possibilities for how you can define Success for yourself.

Success is not reaching an endpoint. Success could be about continuing to evolve as a husband, father, mother, person, disciple maker, professional, etc.

I afraid many times we are limiting ourselves to defining our Success as reaching some financial or status goal. Or maybe a lifestyle goal.

Sure Success for you can be about achieving a certain level of wealth, honor, position, status. But it can also be defined by who you are or what you are becoming.

Success can be defined based on what is inside you and Not just by what is attached to you externally.

The point is: Nobody else should be allowed to define Success for you. Success for you, for me, for each person should be defined by that individual for themself.

And that definition will come from the values you’ve developed over your life to this point in your life. It comes from your life experiences to this point. And it comes from the beliefs you’ve developed to this point in your life. Each of these are specific for each person.

The combination of values, life experiences, and beliefs of an individual determines for them what they think is important and worthy to give their time, energy, and resources toward achieving.

I believe this is one reason people struggle with finding what they call “Fulfillment” or “Meaning” in their life. Because they’ve let someone else determine what is success for them. Then they are spending a tremendous amount of time, energy, and resources trying to achieve someone else’s definition of success for them.

Their heart is not in it. It’s not where their interests lie. It’s not what gets them excited. It’s not what gets them motivated to get out of bed in the morning and attack the day with excitement and enthusiasm.

But yet, they are investing so much into the pursuit of this definition of “Success” that, to them, is not “Success” at all.

And, let’s be honest, that is just plain exhausting trying to get yourself pumped up day after day to invest so much toward something you’re not interested in or believe is a worthy use of your time, energy, resources and talent.

Now — You Define “Success for You”:

I want you to Define “Success for You”.

Not what other people think Success is for You.

I don’t want you to define Success based on what your parents think Success is for you.

I don’t want you to define Success based on what your spouse thinks Success is for you.

I don’t want you to define Success based on what your family thinks Success is for you.

I don’t want you to define Success based on what your friends think Success is for you.

I don’t want you to define Success based on what your culture thinks Success is for you

No! I want you to spend time with yourself and honestly define “Success for You”.

Forget about all outside influences and pressures right now. Go deep inside yourself.

I know. This is starting to sound “touchy-feely”. That is not where we are headed.

I’m simply wanting to emphasize that this is about looking inside yourself, and yourself alone, to determine what is Success for You.

I believe we all know deep within us what Success is for Us. You may be afraid to express it because it goes against what others have said. It may go against the expectations you know others have for you. You may be held back from completing this exercise by the fear you have of what others will think of your definition of Success.

But Remember! Please Remember!

What is deep down within you is composed largely by your values, your life experiences, and your beliefs. So yes, your parents, your spouse, your family, your friends, your culture has influenced your values, your life experiences, and your beliefs.

BUT, each of us takes the input from all those outside, external inputs and runs them through our personal filter. Some of these external inputs we keep and they become a part of who we are. And some of these external inputs we filter out and reject. And they do not become a part of who we are.

Yes, your parents, spouse, family, friends, culture do have an impact on how you define Success for yourself. But they are not the final arbiter of your definition of Success for You.

You are the final judge of Success for You. And only you can do that!

That is what you need to spend some time doing. Defining “What Is Success for You”.

A good place to start is defining what is Success for you in each of these areas of your life:

Family

Lifestyle

Time

Health

Spiritual Life

Work/Career/Position (doesn’t have to be a paid position)

Consider writing your thoughts out by hand on paper and not typing on your computer. Writing forces you to think about it more before you put it on paper. And writing makes a more impactful impression on you than typing it on your computer.

Understand doing this does not lock you in to this definition for the rest of your life. Your definition of “Success for You” will most likely change over your life. This makes sense — right? As time goes by you get more life experiences and more input from more people as you go about your life. Thus affecting and perhaps changing your values, life experiences, and beliefs.

This is not a one time exercise and you’re set for the rest of your life. Periodically you will need to revisit this process to make sure your definition of “Success for You” is still your definition of “Success for You” in each area. If you find it’s not — then change it. It’s your definition. No Problem!

Note: Your definition of Success in the different areas of your life cannot conflict with each other. If they do it will result in tremendous frustration and stress for you and those around you.

For example: Having a health goal of competing in four Ironman races a year and spending more time with your family are competing objectives. Training for Ironman races requires a significant time investment that will most likely take time away from your family. Not allowing you to spend more time with them.

However, ultimately you must make the final decision as to whether your Definitions of Success in the different areas are in conflict with each other or not.

And the difficult truth is, one of the areas of Success you will view as the priority Success for you. You can only have one area of priority. Because this is the one you will use as a lens through which to view and judge all the others. Whether you want to admit you’re doing this or not. You will be doing it. All the the other areas will be subordinate to the one you decide is most important to you. It’s better to consciously choose your priority. Than to allow it to happen subconsciously.

So … What is your Definition of Success for You?

I would enjoy hearing some of your thoughts.

Hey, I’ve got a special going in my coaching program for July of 2023 …

It’s 6 Weeks of FREE Coaching: 6 Men (young, seasoned, or in-between) for 6 Weeks for 6 Hours of 1-On-1 coaching. After the 6 weeks, if they don’t think they got the value of their time investment I will give them $50 — No hassles, No hard feelings. Promise. It’s solely based on their evaluation.

So … If you know any men looking for help in getting from where they are to where they want to be in life …

Feel free to pass along my contact info:

dmcp365@gmail.com, 812–499–9144, direct message on FB or LinkedIn.

Would love to chat with them and see if we’re a fit.

Some people seem to think I’m a pretty nice guy — I won’t bite — that’s another promise.

Brad